What Kind of Relationship Are You In?

This is third in a series of articles for consideration when thinking about yournextnext™. The content is based on the Springer-Alvarez talent development model for Employees and Employers.

Thinking about leaving your job?  Before leaving, you may consider what you will miss most.  For one person I knew, it was the people. Their work colleagues had become like family, and not being able to see them every day was a deep personal loss. Employees often place high value on their work relationships; not only enhancing the quality of their work, but enhancing their quality of life. This is also important to employers because valued relationships at work lead to employee loyalty, employee engagement, and, employee retention.

The benefits of good working relationships can be important factors in your career success, your job satisfaction, and your own self-esteem. It can be especially beneficial if you have a great boss who coaches and guides you and supports your advancement. Relationships that help you grow and hone your career are precious and should be nurtured.

What do you need to look for when assessing your work relationships? Strong working relationships typically have four factors in common: trust, empathy, respect, and accessibility

All strong relationships are built on a foundation of trust. It takes time to build trust, and like personal relationships, the best working relationships are often built on trust centered around some common goals. Shared experiences, communication, and respect for differences, typically lead to a trusting relationship over time. Trusting each other with sensitive information and understanding how to best support one another is often tested over a period of time before trust can be solidified. Mutual trust leads to loyalty, which is why you will often see senior executive teams bring along the same trusted colleague from job to job.

Being empathetic with your colleagues has never been more important than now. During this pandemic, employees have faced a variety of challenges – illness, unemployment, childcare issues and uncertainties that affect each individual in different ways. In these difficult times, demonstrating empathy has been key to maintaining strong relationships. When the murder of George Floyd hit the airwaves, some businesses and corporate leaders immediately stepped up to make statements in support of social justice and police reform, and to educate employees on topics related to racial bias. There were leaders who emerged with support and empathy and others who remained silent. There has never been a more important time for leaders to make an impact by displaying empathy.

When you spend 40+ hours each week with the same people, you share a lot of experiences and often grow professionally together. We would not necessarily choose our co-workers, and often we do not have much in common with them other than work. We may be of different generations, race, gender or religion. We may not even share the same values outside of work, yet you often hear of co-workers who appear to be very different from each other describe their relationship with high regard. This is the result of having established respect for one another. Without respect for the person you work with, the lower the chances of either of you achieving success at work.   

Strong relationships take time to develop. Like any friendship, work relationships take time to build and need to be nurtured over a period of time. Being accessible during the difficult times and the celebratory times are both important. Frequent connection and consistent receptiveness by both parties signal a commitment to the relationship. Knowing that your “go to” person is always accessible to you is one of the most important qualities of a strong work relationship.

Employee turnover is highest in most companies within the first two years of employment. If employees have been unable to establish relationships with these four factors early in their tenure, they are a much higher retention risk. The risk of turnover typically declines with each year of tenure after two years, and declines significantly after five years. There are many more contributing factors to employee turnover, but it is much easier to retain employees who feel like the people they work with are “like family.”

There is research about successful marriages, and one thing the researchers found is that successful marriages have a positive interaction five times more often than a negative one. Similarly, when interactions with coworkers are more positive than negative, relationships will deepen and become stronger. Like a strong marriage, strong work relationships lead to dedication and cohesiveness during the highs and the lows. There is trust that they have your back, there is empathy when you are experiencing pain, there is respect for your perseverance and results, and they are always there for you and you in-turn are there for them. 

When considering whether you should stay or go, think about the value of the relationships you have at work. Do you have work relationships that are built on a foundation of trust, empathy, respect and accessibility? 

If your answer to this question is “no”, then it’s a pretty good bet that it’s time to go…….

#executivecoaching #careerdevelopment #remoteleadership #careerpivot

Springer Alvarez is a team of executive coaches working with companies and professionals who are navigating the new world of work. Their work includes insights into current trends in talent management, leadership development, and preparing for a future of work that is mutually beneficial to both employers and employees.